51 Things: Version Vongola
by The Mafia-ish Addiction
Summary: sometimes no matter how patient nor understanding you are,you would eventually get fed up... and somehow they did... and what better way to let out your frustrations than to make a list?... -Currently on Hiatus-
1. Target One : Tsunayoshi Sawada

first story... for KHR! and for this account.

Haha... yes I do have another existing account but I kind off forgotten my password... so I just hope I won't this time...

anyways this is my own version of the 51 things list inspired by various other fanfictions, the original one being a twilight fanfiction about Emmet Cullen... try reading some of them... they're really funny... there was even one for KHR!

I hope I give this justice...

and I don't own KHR!

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><p><strong>Tsunayoshi Sawada<strong>

"Here is the list Vongola Decimo was not allowed to do ...EVEN IF HE WAS THE BOSS!"

**1. He's not allowed to use X-burner to start a bonfire.**

**2. ...Or use said tecnique and toast all of Byakuran's marshmallows then give it away to Lambo and I-pin.**

**3. Using the XX-burner to do the first two things mentioned above is also prohibited.**

**4. He's not allowed to ditch his paperwork.**

**5. ..Or ask his ever loyal right hand man into forging his signature... So the storm guardian can do some of the work instead.**

**6. **...And to have Soichi, Spanner, and Gianini make him an escape route so he can run away from paperwork.****

**7. **He also can't trick Reborn into not doing his paperworks. Knowing the Hitman it wouldn't work well anyways, especially on his part****

**8. He's not allowed to whine about not wanting to be a mafia boss.**

**9. ...or not wanting to be the tenth boss of the Vongola. **

**10. He is to never touch anything inside the kitchen. Except when he's in the calm version of his HDWM.**

**11. He's not allowed to buy fake vampire teeth and use them together with his cloak and pretend to be 'Count Dracula'.**

**12. ...Or to use said fake teeth to try being 'Edward Cullen'.**

**13. He's not allowed to smile at all single and already taken girls and gays and have them fall in love with him.**

**14. ...And worst, have all of them banging and shouting in front of the Vongola Mansion just to annoy a certain skylark who everyone knew despises crowds and noise so much.**

**15. He is not allowed to shout/shriek like a girl... Seriously, it gets tiring (and he's too old to do that).**

**16. He is not allowed to make every Tuesday as ' Omelette ****Appreciation ****Day' and have everyone eat nothing else but Omelettes.**

**17. He is not allowed to ban anything related to Angry Birds (toys, games, merchandise, collectibles) just because he never got a high score.**

**18. ...Or the fact that Lambo, I-pin, and Fuuta are much better players than him when it comes to aforementioned game.**

**19. He is not allowed to make snide remarks about Reborn being an 'ultimate nightmare dressed as a cute baby'.**

**20. He is not allowed to shout "Pedophile! Pedophile!" then act mentally scared whenever Mukuro was around.**

**21.** He's not to tell Byakuran that consuming, selling, and producing of marshmallows and all related products are banned from all parallel worlds, including theirs.****

****22. He is not allowed to use blackmailing on his guardians (since, apparently, he already learned the dreadful art from Reborn****

****23. He is not allowed to run away and hide to who-knows-where whenever his father decides to make a visit (he just has to keep up with his father's long speech of how sorry he was for being a pathetic excuse for a father)****

****24. **He is not allowed to make Reborn a cup of coffee. Reborn likes it bitter, hence the espresso. (Tsuna knows the fact but still, he can't keep himself from adding 10 teaspoons of sugar every time he attempts to make one for the tutor.)**

**25. Tsunayoshi Sawada must not sow a single plant. His mother has green thumbs: he does not.**

**26. He must not run away and/or pretend to be busy when the ninth sends out dinner invitations to every family member, even if it includes the bloodthirsty assassins known as Varia (besides, it was one of the rare moments Reborn gave him 'breaks from paperwork,' so he should be thankful.)**

**27. He must not stutter when in front of big names and influential clients. As Reborn would have said 'it's not the way of a boss.'**

**28. He must not turn down Kyoya's invitation to have a fight. He would still be 'bitten to death' one way or another anyways.**

**29. He must not run away nor hide when Reborn was tortu- err… training him.**

**30. He is not allowed to use his 'hyper intuition' to sense the presence of his tutor and afterwards, attempt to escape from him.**

**31. He is to never write his 'suicidal note' on the roll of tissue paper inside the restroom of his office every time he feels depressed and stressed with all that paperwork.**

**32. He is not, allowed to do a suicide attempt, fake or not during April Fools' Day to scare the hell out of his guardians.**

**33. ...Or to use the act of faking death to get his guardians' reactions then afterwards, use it for blackmailing.**

**34. He is to never punish Kyoya Hibari by chaining him on a Spanner-original indestructible chair and lock him inside a room with the recorded sound of Mukuro's 'Kufufu', Ryohei's 'Extreme', Belphegor's 'ushishishi', and Squalo's 'VOOIIIII' in full volume, repeating over and over again.**

**35. He must not run away from Bianchi's cooking. A boss's stomach should also toughen up (according to Reborn anyways)**

**36. He is not allowed to be sarcastic towards Reborn.**

**37. He is not allowed to run away again from an 'EXTREME BOXING MATCH INVITATION AGAIN TO THE EXTREME'**

**38. He is not allowed to cry like a damsel in distress after watching a re-run of some Spanish Telenovela that Haru told him to watch.**

**39. ****He is not allowed to tell Enma that he had defied gravity (with his hair) and managed to defeat him again.**

**40. He must not tag team with Kyoya Hibari and declare a 'Pineapple Appreciation Day' then watch the reaction on Mukuro's face.**

** 41. ****He cannot send Mukuro on a mission on some foreign country such as the Philippines or some other tropical countries that produces pineapples.**

** 42. ****He is not allowed to 'unintentionally' leave pineapple pies inside Mukuro's room.**

**43. ...Or to have Lambo, I-pin, and Fuuta paint pineapples inside his room.**

**44. ...Or to have Kokuyo Land repainted and renovated, making it look like a giant pineapple.**

**45.** He must not hide anything from his guardians or Reborn ever again!****

****46. He is not allowed to be late to school or Hibari will bite him to death.****

**47. He is not allowed to be late from his meeting with other mafia bosses (if he does, Reborn will whack him with his Leon hammer.)**

**48. He is not allowed to go alone ever again when meeting with other mafia bosses. Allied, neutral, or the family's dark enemies.**

**49. He cannot hide or run away from Colonello and Lal Mirch who were sent by Reborn to train him temporarily because apparently, the devilish, fedora-wearing tutor was 'unavailable'.**

**50. He is not allowed to break any of these rules.**

"Finally done," Soichi looked at the list. "My hands were starting to get numb with all that typing."

"Who would have thought Vongola was capable of doing all of it," Spanner muttered before unwrapping a lollipop and putting it in his mouth.

"I noticed most of them involves Mukuro-nii and pineapples!" Fuuta exclaimed. "Does Tsuna-nii hate him?"

"Not really," Reborn answered with a smirk, "he just find Mukuro's expressions quite amusing."

"I would have never guessed that Vongola's creepiest guardian would be defeated by something 'fruity' like pineapples."

"Language, Spanner" Soichi scolded his friend. "Sorry about that Chrome". Spanner, meanwhile, told his friend that 'he didn't even use any strong, incoherent language not suitable for younger audiences' while keeping on a poker face.

Chrome, meanwhile, giggled and shyly stated, "Uhm... Actually, I also do enjoy seeing Mukuro-sama's freaked out face sometimes". Reborn smirked at this.

"Where are your co-guardians, anyway?"

"Lambo was at the Bovino and the rest are with boss on a mission," Chrome stated. Just then, the door opened and in came...

Tsuna in boss mode, calm yet... with amusment In his eyes and a grin on his lips. Gokudera followed not far behind, muttering about 'failing as a right hand man' and begging his Jyuudaime for forgiveness. Ryohei with his 'extremeness' actually 'terminated' from his eyes for the very first time, regretting he ever made Tsuna so angry. Kyoya glared at everyone and had a scowl on his face and was that a kiss mark on his neck? And Mukuro looking grim and totally freaked out more than when pineapples are involved.

Then Tsuna, whistling a happy tune, walked towards his office. Reborn eyed the male guardians one by one ...a little curious as to what may have happened to the now gloomy boys, well in exception of one.

Apparently, Takeshi was the only guardian who was still as cheerful as he always was and so he was asked the very question on everyone else's mind "What happened?"

"HaHa, well remember last week... when we actually destroyed the Hawaii base?" Takeshi scratched his head while the others nodded. "Well Tsuna had finally decided on our punishment."

"And?" Reborn motioned him to continue. Which he did.

After the rain guardian was done...

Chrome was looking at her co-guardians with pity.

Reborn was grinning, feeling absolutely proud with his student... looks like all that teaching had paid well off.

Fuuta had a blank look on his face, not really understanding everything.

Spanner who was ...actually laughing at the guardians' misfortune and Kyoya's glare did not even made him flinch.

Soichi, feeling sorry for the male guardians, quickly went towards the list he was busy with moments ago and told the guardians, "So who would want to do the honor?"

The male guardians read the list with Mukuro twitching with too many pineapples and his oh-so-awesome name together. He quickly went near the screen and typed on the keyboard.

**51. The Vongola boss is not allowed to send his guardians on a 'SPEED DATING EVENT' as a form of punishment after 'ACCIDENTALLY' destroying something!**

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><p>this chapter was edited thanks to <strong>ShiroiSuna<strong> who corrected all of those mistakes...

so how was it?... do you guys think I should write a list for the other characters?

tell me what you think...

Ciaossu!


	2. Target two: Hayato Gokudera

So before anything else...

**...****shiki senri...**

Uhm.. thanks for the review.

**Devil-Queen-Wolf-666**

Glad that it actually made you laugh :)

As for your request I would definitely make one for Chrome and maybe for the Varia as well...tough it would actually take some time (it's really hard to come up with ideas... haha). You see, as of now I've only got **Chrome (12), Xanxus (3), Bel (6) and Fran (14) **not really close to the magic number of 51.

so please patiently wait. I would upload one for the characters you've requested if I came up with one.

**Reena Vongola**

Thanks for correcting my mistakes and don't worry I don't hold grudges on people (believe it or not but it's true). Besides I was actually thankful for people like you who would openly correct my mistakes as it actually gives me more space for improvement.

and I'm happy this fic actually made you 'crack'

**ShiroiSuna**

First of all... I HATE YOU!

Nah, just kidding...

Actually thanks for correcting all of my mistakes. I really needed that you know. I do admit that i'm not that good with words and that's why what you did really did come in handy. I even realized I was being redundant but doesn't really know how to correct most of them that's why I ended up leaving it as it was. Shame on me.

Also thanks for telling me 'what to's' and 'what not's'. But I'm not entirely sure though if I can stop adding subjects related to our world but I would do my best, rest assured.

Thanks again anyways.

_(This part was not included on the PM I sent you but I really wanted to add this)_

First of all thanks again for correcting every single bit of the mistakes I made. It was indeed a great help and I am able to edit my fanfiction. Your like an instant Beta Reader!

And if ever you find more of those mistakes please don't hesitate to tell me. It would help a lot. :)

**YukariAiko**

Err... Thanks, haha

**Once-upon-a-saturday**

Glad you found it funny :)

**...and lastly to all those who added this as their favorite and put it on alerts or for simply even reading this in the first place. THANK YOU!.**

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><p><strong>Chapter one has been edited.<strong>

**Next chapter is up.**

**Target Two : Hayato Gokudera**

**Disclaimer: I totally don't own KHR and the original idea to to this fic came from another author who wrote one for Twilight **_( I actually tried searching for the author's name but came up with none... the account could already be nonexistent or the pen name was changed, I just hope it was the latter)_

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><p><strong>Hayato Gokudera<strong>

"These are the things Hayato Gokudera was not allowed to do... OR HE'LL FAIL AS A RIGHT-HAND MAN"

**1. He is not allowed to bomb 'innocent bystanders' because apparently they are not 'worthy enough' to breath the same air as his Jyuudaime.**

**2. .…Or to eradicate them with his bombs because he thinks that they're assassins sent to kill his precious boss (if his suspicions are proven true, he is free to eliminate the target… key word 'proven'). **

**3. Most of all he cannot blow them up because he was being too paranoid and thinks that they are after his position as the right-hand man of the best mafia boss to ever live.**

**4. **He is not allowed to destroy anything with his bombs.****

**5. He must not accuse Shittopi-chan of being an U.M.A every time said girl was on sight.**

**6. …Or to accuse Gianini of being one either just because said man was 'small and round'.**

**7 ...Or to accuse anyone else to be an Unidentified Mysterious Animal.**

**8. When he finds someone too annoying (i.e. Takeshi, Ryohei and Lambo), he is not allowed to shove dynamites on their mouths.**

**9. He cannot create a ruckus at the public library after realizing that they don't have enough books about U.M.A.**

**10. He is not allowed to commit murder on Takeshi because apparently he still believes that the rain guardian was after his title as the right hand man.**

**11. He cannot declare every Monday as 'kill-baseball-freak-day'.**

**12. …Or every Tuesday as 'kill-turf-top-day'**

**13. Making Wednesdays as official 'kill-snot-nosed-cow-brat-day' is also not allowed.**

**14. …And he's not allowed to proclaim Thursdays as 'kill-male-pineapple-headed-bastard-day'**

**15. Hayato Gokudera cannot declare every Friday as 'kill-prefect-carnivore-day'**

**16. …Or Saturdays as 'kill-tiara-wearing-knife-bastard-day'**

**17. ….Or to declare every Sunday as 'kill-marshmallow-addicted-demon-day'**

**18. In fact he is not allowed to declare any day as 'kill-everyone-who-annoys-him-day'**

**19. **He is no allowed to address Haru as 'Stupid Girl.'****

**20. He should not scare teachers and proceed to hurt them with his dynamites after finding out his boss got a low score on a test.**

**21. He shall not kill any of his 'rabid' army of fan girls. No matter how irritating they are.**

**22. Harming fan girls in any possible way is also not allowed.**

**23. He must not team up with Verde and create an army of 'Evil Geniuses'.**

**24. Then use said army to take over the world and proceed to present it to the Vongola boss. (Tsuna wouldn't like it in any way possible)**

**25. Forcing Soichi to join said evil army is a big no!**

**26. He is not allowed to scare Lambo with ghost stories, Alien kidnappers and cow-dressed-brat-eating U.M.A stories when he's babysitting him.**

**27. He cannot use Namimori Middle's intercom and announce that they are 'currently being attacked by some U.M.A' and that everyone should obey the 'great U.M.A order'.**

**28. He's not allowed to force the government (by using his dynamites) to create a national 'I Love U.M.A Day' and have everyone to dress in U.M.A costumes.**

**29. ...And force people to dance to the beat of Micheal Jackson's 'Thriller.'**

**30. He cannot activate I-pin's Pinzu time bomb (i.e. By showing the young Chinese a picture of Hibari) and throw said girl on enemies when he run out of dynamites.**

**31. He is not allowed to be too hot headed and temperamental.**

**32. He is not allowed to put Lambo inside a box and dispatch him to some really far away place (i.e. some deserted island in the Pacific).**

**33. He is not allowed to perform the art of 'Seppuku' whenever he 'thinks he failed as the right-hand man.**

**34. He is not allowed to smoke.**

**35. He is not allowed to bully Lambo.**

**36. He is not allowed to microwave dynamites to see if it would actually 'explode.'**

**37. ...And if no. 36 theory was proven successful, proceed to do the same using Lambo's grenades.**

**38. He is not allowed to create really annoying nicknames for every single person that irritates him.**

**39. ...**Then proceed to call said person with the nickname he came up with in front of a great audience.****

**40. ****He must not buy any of Tsuna's photos (courtesy of a greedy mist Arcobaleno).******

**41. He is not allowed to had a customized statue of Tsuna made entirely of gold.**

**42. ...And proceed to built a shrine with it.**

**43. **He is not allowed to be stalker-ish on his boss and follow him 24/7.****

**44. **He is not allowed to install surveillance camera's all around Namimori, (So he can 'watch over' Tsuna) without Kyoya's consent and approval.****

**45. ******He cannot put an Ofuda on every weird looking people he sees in an attempt to 'cleanse their souls.'********

**46.**** ...Then proceed to do some 'exorcism rituals' thinking they are possessed by some evil spirit (most probably Mukuro)******

**47**. He is not allowed (or at least refrain from doing so) to turn simple and understandable explanations into something that involves Science, Mathematics and the Laws of Gravity and Physics that apparently only Reborn, Soichi, Spanner and Verde can understand.****

**48. He shall not destroy, damage, obliterate, rip into pieces, shred,bomb (or any other word synonimous to it) anything that was really not neccessary during a mission...**

**49. ...and he can't do the same when he got annoyed by his co-guardians.**

**50. He is not allowed to disobey any of the rules mentioned above.**

"Finally" Haru placed the fountain pen she had used to write the whole list back at Tsuna's office table. "Haru-chan's delicate hand was starting to get numb."

"Do you think storm-kun would actually obey the list?" Chrome asked a little shyly. "He never listens to anyone except boss."

"Kufufu, then we'll tell him it's an order from Tsunayoshi-kun" Mukuro creepily chuckled. "Oh, I think we should scratch out thirty-three, It would be fun to see his blood gush out while doing Seppuku."

"Mukuro" Tsuna frowned at his male mist guardian.

"Kufufu" Mukuro just let out another one of his creepy laughs.

"I'll arrest him for disrupting the peace" Kyoya stated with a growl, letting his infamous tonfas escape its hiding place.

"Hayato did not disrupt the peace" Tsuna stated "At least, not yet this week"

"His herbivore fan girls are noisy, the annoying girl are his fans, then he created the noise" Kyoya pointed out. Tsuna sighed at his cloud guardian's weird philosophy.

Just then Kyoko and Ryohei came entering inside the room. Kyoko just silently walked towards Haru with a smile while Ryohei faced Tsuna and showed him a badge.

"SQUID-HEAD WAS EXTREMELY GIVING AWAY FREE BADGES"

Everyone, even Kyoya peeked to have a better look. To everyone's surprise, well not really, it was a badge with an U.M.A on it. The words 'Unidentified Mysterious Animal' was engraved, surrounding the picture.

Just then the doors opened again and in came a really furious Belphegor and a really bored Fran.

"Ushishi, where's your storm guardian." He asked with venom "So I can kill him"

"What did he do?" Tsuna asked.

"He used Bel-sempai's credit cards to supply himself with some ridiculous looking badges." Fran answered the Vongola boss's question in a monotonous voice.

"Hahi?" Haru blinked her eyes.

Tsuna sighed, telling the Varia storm guardian that he'll eventually give his money back before the blond prince decides to murder his right-hand man. "Ushishi, the prince wants it before the sun sets." Then he left the room being followed by Fran who slightly bowed at Mukuro "See you soon master"

The Vongola boss meanwhile inwardly groaned. His guardians are giving him lots of headache. "Haru-chan"

"Hahi, I'm on it" Haru picked up the list and the pen she used earlier.

**51. He is not allowed to use someone else's money to provide himself with giveaway U.M.A items such as badges, stickers, notebooks, pens, t-shirts, mugs and stationery items.**

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><p><strong>Finally, it really took me a long time to make this chapter... But it's done <strong>

**I don't know who'll be next but I'm pretty sure this is not the last chapter...**

**Uhm, my apologies if this wasn't as humorous as I intended it to be.**

**So there,**

**and please check out my other story, (Haha...this is called advertising)**

**Click me please,**

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